Dolly's Sharing

Remembering Gilbert is remembering how deeply God loved him

My cousin Gilbert would have turned 63 on 19 August 2018, but the Lord called him home earlier. In July 2017, he was diagnosed with sarcoma cancer of the face – an uncommon and highly aggressive tumour that, within just six months, not only claimed his life but also ravaged half of his face and neck. Because the cancer was rare and difficult to identify, it took time for the doctors to arrive at a confirmed diagnosis. By then, it was already too late for treatment.

By God’s grace and strength, Gilbert endured those months of excruciating pain, even as his faith was stretched beyond his own understanding. With his beloved wife faithfully by his side, they faced each day together, uncertain of what lay ahead. Yet through the fear, suffering and helplessness, God continued to sustain him.

As the illness progressed, his suffering became increasingly intense and unbearable, to the point where he longed for death simply to be released from the torment. No human strength alone could have carried him through such agony. It was truly the sustaining grace and mercy of God that upheld him until the very end.

Then, in God’s perfect timing, Gilbert went home peacefully into the arms of the Lord, breathing his last breath in the embrace of his beloved wife. There was no struggle, no fear, and no torment in that final moment – only peace. God took him home tenderly and lovingly; such is the compassion of our Heavenly Father. Deep within my heart, I believe this was how Gilbert would have wanted to depart – resting in the arms of the woman he loved, who had stood faithfully beside him through every season of life.

Looking back, I will always remember Gilbert as someone deeply loved by God. One day, while praying for him, I sensed the Lord impressing upon my heart that the reason He had delayed taking Gilbert home, despite the immense suffering, was because he was not yet ready to be saved. God looks far beyond earthly pain and suffering for His greatest desire is that none should perish. Even in the midst of agony, God’s love was still at work – sustaining, pursuing, and drawing Gilbert closer to Himself until the appointed time when he would finally be heaven-bound.

What appeared to us as delay was, in truth, divine mercy. Though Gilbert’s body was wasting away, God was preparing his heart for eternity. And when that work was complete, the Lord lovingly called him home on 24 January 2018, shortly after 6.00 am, Gilbert was finally set free.

I remember sharing with him the reason God had not taken him home earlier was because of His deep love and mercy toward him – that the Lord was patiently waiting, giving him time to repent of any unconfessed sins and to turn fully back to Him. Looking back now, I hold those words with even deeper reverence for God’s compassion, mercy and perfect timing.

When I think of the way Gilbert eventually departed, my heart is filled with gratitude and peace, for I truly believe he was gently received into the arms of Jesus. There is also profound comfort in knowing that his suffering has completely ended. The tears, the anguish and the physical torment were all left behind. He has entered into eternal rest – a place where there is no more pain, sorrow or death.

As written in Revelation 21:4, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain…” This reminds us that while it is natural to grieve, there is also reason to rejoice in the hope and promise of eternal life. And in 2 Corinthians 5:8, we are reminded that “to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.” What greater comfort can there be than this blessed assurance – that Gilbert is now safely in God’s presence, held forever in His perfect peace and love.

Once again, there was no final goodbye with Gilbert. It was not because I lacked the opportunity, but because I could not bring myself to visit after he was discharged from the hospital. His condition had deteriorated rapidly. Perhaps it was fear – I cannot say for certain. Each time I considered visiting, my heart grew heavy and my courage faltered. I struggled with the thought of seeing him so visibly changed; it was simply too distressing for me to bear. And so, in those final days, the only connection I maintained with him was through phone calls. Even then, hearing his voice was enough to remind me of the immense battle he was fighting each day. Beneath the physical suffering was a man holding on with whatever strength remained.

Deep within, I regret not finding the courage to see Gilbert one last time. I wish I had been there physically for him — to stand beside him during those difficult moments and offer whatever comfort and strength I could. Instead, fear and emotional weakness held me back, and for that, I carry a profound sense of regret. I am truly sorry, Gilbert, for not being there in person during the days when you may have needed companionship and support the most.

Still, Gilbert was never far from my thoughts or prayers. Though I could not be physically present beside him, I continually entrusted him into God’s loving hands, believing that the Lord who loved him so dearly would carry him through those final moments with mercy, tenderness, and peace.

In loving memory of Gilbert, I will always remember not only the suffering he endured, but also the quiet strength, faith, and love that carried him through his final months. Though his journey was painful, God’s grace never left him, and through every tear and struggle, the Lord was preparing him for eternity. Today, Gilbert rests peacefully in the presence of Jesus, a beautiful reminder of God’s mercy and unfailing love. Until we meet again in heaven, Gilbert will always be remembered with love and deep affection in my heart… 💖