My father was a brilliant man – a jack of all trades and unlike the saying, he was “master in dentistry”. He had a wide range of interests and excelled in everything he pursued, always on the move and full of energy. Although he was married, he continued to indulge in a promiscuous bachelor-like lifestyle. His charm was undeniable… jovial fun-loving, non-aggressive and slow to anger – hence he had a wide circle of friends, both male and female, from all walks of life.
Being an avid nightclubber, my father enjoyed drinking, dancing and singing. His deep sonorous voice announced his presence before he could be seen, alerting us his arrival well in advance. Through him, I developed an appreciation for classic Chinese songs; even now, hearing those old melodies evokes poignant memories of him. He was a keen sportsman and enjoyed swimming, hunting and fishing, and was also skilled in carpentry. Despite his busy lifestyle and work commitments, he found time to design and renovate one of his dental clinics personally, transforming the waiting area into an ‘Art Aquarium’ that featured various fish species displayed in built-in-wall aquariums.
My father was intelligent, gifted and could accomplish almost anything; taking pride even in simple task like kite flying. He would personally craft kites and meticulously coat the strings with powdered glass to slice the cords of opponents mid-air. I was, and still am, proud of him despite his flaws. Memories of our time together are deeply etched in my mind. Those unforgettable moments of my childhood with him were regrettably too brief, as our father-daughter relationship deteriorated during my adolescence.
The happy memories were soon overshadowed by a growing turmoil of suppressed emotions. Recurring unpleasant issues gradually drove me further away from him. Our relationship grew distant, and I began to respond with indifference and detachment – an emotional severing – the only way I knew then to guard my heart from further hurt. Later in his fifties, my father’s health began to decline significantly, and with it, so did his business. It was a sobering reminder of how fleeting and fragile life can be.
James 4:14 (ESV) – Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes… This verse captures both the brevity and the unpredictability of life – like a fleeting vapour that rises quickly and disappears. I’ve come to understand that all human effort, apart from God’s will, is ultimately meaningless. True purpose and fulfillment in life can only be found in Him.
Eventually, my father was bed-ridden. For a man who loved life and thrived in physical activity, it was heartbreaking to witness him in such a pitiful state. In many ways, I felt that the weight of his suffering was more than enough to account for his past wrongs. And yet, he endured… persisting through more than a decade of pain and emptiness. It wasn’t until he received the long-awaited forgiveness from my mother that he was finally able to let go – “the sweet closure” that gave him the peace to breathe his last.
Through it all, I saw the tender hand of God at work, writing a story of mercy even in the final chapter of my father’s life. Looking back, I realise that while his life was far from perfect, God’s grace was present – quietly weaving restoration, even in the silence of suffering. And for that, I am thankful. It reminded me that forgiveness holds the power not only to heal the one receiving it, but also touch and transform those who witness it.
My father returned to the Lord at the age of 68. Sometimes I wonder if I had been willing to listen with an open heart, could we have developed a deeper, more meaningful relationship? That’s something I will never know. But what I do know is this: I’m at peace without any emotional conflicts, and thoughts of my father bring back beautiful memories. And for that, I give thanks to God, who transformed my heart and renewed my mind, just as promised in Romans 12:2.
The absence of fatherly love opened the door to years of insecurity and uncertainty. Growing up in a broken family left a devastating mark on me. It nearly cost me my life as I searched for love and security in all the wrong places. But God is good. In His grace and mercy, I found love, hope, life and security in Jesus. As 1 Timothy 1:14 (NIV) declares, “The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.”
No matter how wretched life may seem, our Abba Father can redeem any situation. What appears impossible to us is never too hard for Him (Jeremiah 32:17). His power knows no limits, for He is the Almighty God. In closing, I want to magnify the unfailing love of our Heavenly Father with this powerful truth from Romans 8:38-39 (ESV) – “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
This truth has carried me, changed me, and continues to light the path ahead. Thank You, Abba Father for Your steadfast love that endures forever, and Your faithfulness to all the generations.
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