Dolly's Sharing

2016 was a humbling and challenging year for me. I struggled not only with health issues, but with the emotional weight of unexpected events in the church I attended. The world seemed to add salt to the wound – mocking the values I held dear, twisting them into something to be ridiculed, and subjecting me to harsh criticism and unfair judgment. As if that wasn’t enough, what I initially thought was just a patella malalignment, turned out to be an incurable autoimmune disease.

My life came to a standstill when a severe flare-up of rheumatoid arthritis robbed me of significant strength in my limbs. This chronic inflammatory disorder affects more than just the joints; it can impact various body systems. While the normal range for rheumatoid factor is below 15 IU/ml, my test result came back at a staggering 296.5 IU/ml. Every movement became a struggle – each step was painfully slow and laboured. I couldn’t lift my hands, stand up, or even roll onto my side in bed without assistance. A good night sleep became a rare luxury, as did the ability to manage even the simplest daily tasks. Heavily medicated and physically drained, I was overwhelmed by the terrifying prospect of becoming bedridden.

Silent sobs grew increasingly uncontrollable as I wrestled with the thought of never again being able to kneel before the Lord – a posture that symbolized my reverence, my acknowledgment of His sovereignty over my life. I could no longer kneel in recognition of the grandeur and majesty of the King of kings, the Lord of lords, the Most high God – my Abba Father! My prayer was, “Father God, please heal me so that I may come before you on bended knees again.” The very thought of losing this deeply ingrained act of worship, a gesture so dear to my heart, broke me.

Bending my knees before God has always been a great honour – a profound act of worship and adoration. It’s a simple yet bold declaration that He is almighty, the source of all power, and that the one who kneels does so in humble surrender and obedience to His will. In my weakness, I was reminded of the One who alone is worthy of all honour and praise: “Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.”(Revelation 4:11 KJV)

Though my body was frail, my spirit clung to this truth. I never imagined I would be able to use my weak and damaged knees again. Yet, in His perfect timing, the Lord, in His mercy, restored me – allowing me once again to kneel in worship before Him. Broken things become blessed things when you let God do the mending. The moment I could finally kneel in prayer again was one of unspeakable joy. My heart was full then, and it remains full now, each time I’m on bended knees – a constant reminder of His love and mercy.

Forever grateful and thankful… To God be the glory!