Dolly's Sharing

Reposting an old write-up dated 7 May 2012

During  one of the prayer meetings on 28 April 2012, a sister-in-Christ shared from Psalm 42 that speaks of the soul clinging to God as its only source of hope when all else has fallen away. She invited us, the intercessors, to reflect on the brokenness we have encountered in our own lives.

Verses 1 and 2 – “As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?” – expressed the deepest longing of my heart. They captured so precisely the unrelenting thirst for the living God, a yearning that has defined my spiritual journey.

As I moved on to verse 3 – “My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God?” – my eyes welled up with tears. The Lord gently brought to the surface memories of a brokenness I had long buried. While I tried to hold back my tears, a sudden surge of raw emotion engulfed me. The ache of that long-ago wound came rushing back with such force that I was unable to restrain my grief, and broke down in sobs. I found myself wondering why the Lord had chosen to stir such deep pain again – why He allowed me to relive that sorrow so vividly.

Yes, I know what it feels like to be broken. I’ve been there – lost in despair and wretchedness. Trust me… loved ones can wound you deeply, and close friends may betray you. Brokenness is watching your hopes, your plans, your sense of security slip through your fingers. And when you try to hold on to whatever remains, you’re left clutching pain, disappointment and misery. Brokenness is wearing a mask, pretending to be strong while you’re silently dying inside. It’s sobbing into your pillow through the long hours of the night until the break of dawn. It’s numbing the ache in your heart, convincing yourself that everything is fine, only to realize you’ve been living in denial.

In a nutshell, brokenness is when your whole world comes crashing down, and along with it, your confidence, your identity, your self-worth. That is brokenness. But thank God – He was there. And no one can ever take Him away from me. He was all I had then, and that was enough. No, correction – He is more than sufficient. I couldn’t have endured without Him. I wouldn’t have known how to carry on. (2 Corinthians 12:9 – My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness).

Jesus, my Lord and Saviour, picked me up gently and dried my tears. He gave me strength and walked with me through that lonely, unsteady path – lifting me each time I stumbled, cushioning the blows I couldn’t bear. I was thoroughly broken, but the Lord put the pieces back together. Under His tender, loving care, I’m made whole again, filled with the peace and joy that can only be found in Christ.

Praise God for His healing touch, and for faithfully upholding us in our darkest moments. He is awesome! I can never thank Him enough. Hallelujah!